The number one sexual problem faced by more than 50% of the Indian couples is low or no sex desire, reports psychiatrist , sexologist, and former president of Indian Psychiatric Society Dr. Mrugesh Vaishnav. He states that there is a low and almost no sex desire and discrepancies in sexual desire found even in the newly married couples.
Research on low or no sex desire
Through series of research, it has been found that neither boredom or age are the major contributing factors for couple’s low or no sex desire. Sharing a very important finding from his clinical and research experience, Dr. Mrugesh Vaishnav stated that premarital sexual experiences and expectations, particularly in young couples poison marital sex.
One will naturally ask the question why? The answer is very simple. After interviewing several couples who intensively enjoyed pre-marital sex during the weekends, or the holidays. It was found that the novelty, the illicitness of the relationship, pleasure of risk taking, intense desire to win over the partner, the passion, the romance, the love, and the long-standing cravings to cross the sexual boundaries creates the intense sexual drive that leads to tremendous arousal and pleasure. But this is not lasting and permanent.
Marital sex and partner are taken for granted
The basic nature of the romantic and passionate love is in its limitedness, so the romance disappears when one is in the routine of his or her life. Ideally, all these feelings requires to be replaced by a matured, and intimate love and also learning newer techniques of sexual relationship. Usually, in our country marital sex and partner are taken for granted. This leads to gradually decreasing sex drive over a period of couple of years.
As a result of that couples reached to a false conclusion that marriage kills sex, but in my clinical experience couples who have been together for more than 2 years (lives in, Extra Marital Affairs) have higher prevalence of low sex and no sex relationships than do married couples.
One more important point is that the time, energy, and enthusiasm the premarital couples have is not available to marital couple. My statement may look like a paradox. Because a marital couple have seven nights with them in one week. The human nature is such that but availability of anything- living or non-living 24/7 has very less or almost no importance than what is available for a shorter period of time. Week end meetings in pre-marital couples increases the desire to enjoy everything within the given time, which results into blockbuster sex and orgasm. Remember premarital sex, either it is with the same partner or with a different partner, may prove to be self-defeating as it increases expectations in marital sex.
Tips That May Help Improve Sex Drive
Never compare your blockbuster premarital sexual relationship with marital relationship as it is likely to decrease your sex drive and also lead to many other sexual dysfunctions. To resolve your marital sexual dysfunction if you will take help of the premarital sexual experience it will lead to frustration, resentment, disappointment, and a blame game. Stop poisoning your marital sexuality. Do not allow premarital sexuality to interfere your marital style. Develop mature intimate erotic plans and take help of a good sex therapist to increase your sex drive and improve your pleasure in marital sexual life.