Do you know? You were never shy but you are now. You never experienced guilt before but you experience it quite often now! You never used to degrade yourself. But now you continuously criticize yourself. Why does this happen? Yes I have come here to explain you all this.
Since your childhood you have unknowingly taken so many selfies of your own self.
The ‘image’ that you have framed based on your childhood experiences, you have built either a right or a wrong opinion, you feel the similar emotions, you exhibit similar attitude and behavior, you speak the similar speech and accordingly your future is built.
How many people have the hobby of clicking ‘selfie’ on their phone?
You take selfie with many odd, weird gestures and facial expressions of you and put it viral in your social group. You try to get the best image of yourself while clicking a selfie. Right?
But do you know that you have been taking innumerable ‘selfie’ of your own self since childhood without the use of any mobile camera or a selfie stick. You have clicked so many such selfies.
Are you feeling surprised? You have taken so many pictures of yourself and you don’t know about that at all?
Yes, it happens, because this process takes place outside your knowledge in such a secretive manner that you don’t even get a little hint about it. You take this selfie with so much naturalism and convenience that you yourself remain unaware of it. Your identity which is visible in this selfie have taken years to develop and today when you have grown up a little with those different impressions, with different faces and labels, you have created either a blurry or a clear image.
The kind of image that you have built up for yourself. Whatever opinion you have built, whether right or wrong. You will experience the similar emotions, you will think the similar thoughts! You will possess the same belief. You will exhibit similar behavior and attitude, you will speak the similar speech and accordingly your future will be shaped.
Every person has to keep on improving his self-image based on his capability, talent and efficiency. If you believe that your self-image is lower than your capability then you have a lack of self-confidence. You suffer from inferiority complex.
The complete understanding of self-image means a summation of feelings like enjoyment, happiness, love, hate and hope.
Self-image means an impression or an image a person has stored in his mind. A self-image or a self-impression or a selfie is what a person thinks of himself i.e. how he is, he believes that or experiences it.
A child born on the earth is a clean slate. He does not have any opinions about himself.
Am I good or bad? He does not know anything about that, but after birth he undergoes various life experiences. Based on that he keeps on gathering bits and pieces of his identity.
The generation of this self-image does not take place on a piece of paper. It is not captured in any pixel camera. But it is captured based on the good and bad events that have taken place in your life from your childhood until today.
As a child grows old various adjectives are used for him by his parents, near and dear ones and other people. They constantly criticize him and keep on telling him what to do and they keep on developing his selfie by creating a mark of limitations and faults on his clean slate.
A child gets to hear different adjectives like “dirty”, “sick”, “crier,” “useless”, “stubborn”, “naughty” and “worthless” from around him.
A child will be able to hear adjectives like “clever”, “dear”, “darling”, “smiling”, “lovely”, and “wise” from his parents who are understanding, cultured and loving.
The first kind of adjectives create a negative image in the mind while the second kind of adjectives develop a positive self-image.
The events that take place on a daily basis in your childhood develop an image in your mind. For e.g. during your childhood your parents or elders use the following statements to rebuke you.
“Take care a little…you are so dumb.”
“Don’t grow out to be a fool like your uncle.”
“You are so dumb…You can’t even understand this much?”
These statements by your parents and elders will shock you and will create an impression on your mind. You will accept it as your belief.
This is because you were an innocent child. You did not have any other way to understand your own self. Your parents who shower you with so much love, provide you clothes, food, toys and books, take care of little things about you, give you medicines while you are sick. Why would such parents say anything wrong about you? And in this way you consider the opinions given by your parents, elders and teachers to be correct.
You will experience feelings about yourself in accordance with the opinion that you consider true for yourself and you will act in a similar manner. For e.g.
“I am dumb”, “I am useless.”
“I am a burden on everyone”, “I am an idiot.”
“I am stupid.” “I am over smart.” “I am so dumb.”
“I am Totally dumb.” “I am a sick person.”
You will behave in the same way as you experience the emotions.
In your childhood you might have become very happy when an elder appreciated you and that ‘selfie’ will be generated in your mind. In this way if your elders say:
“My Chintu is very intelligent.”
“No one is as good as you”, “You have immense talent in you.”
“We are proud of your curiosity.”
“My Montu is very clever. He finishes his work in any difficulty.”
These statements by your parents or elders create a positive self-image in your mind. If you get to hear these kinds of statements quite often then you will build a very bright opinion of your own self. In such a situation your selfie will be something like this:
“I am intelligent.”
“I am clever. I am a good person.”
“I am loving and a darling of everyone.”
“I am full of intelligence and potential.”
“I am wise.”
In this way a healthy ‘selfie’ will keep on developing in your mind and you will have a positive self-image. You will feel proud of yourself and you will obtain an identity for yourself based on such statements by your elders which will become a part of a healthy self-image.
I told you earlier that you will experience similar feelings according to the opinion that you consider true for yourself and you will act in accordance with that.
If you consider yourself dumb that you will be inspired to behave in such a way that portrays you dumb.
If you consider yourself naïve then you will behave in such a way that people will take advantage of you.
If you feel that you are helpless then you will think and behave in such a way that you might need help of someone to get you out of your difficult times.
If you consider yourself very “intelligent” and “clever” then you will behave in such a way that will prove it right.
The mind of a child is like a blank slate. You can write anything you want on it. The experiences of childhood are very important for the development of character in adulthood.